In a tearful April 1st press conference at the Medford, Massachusetts Office of Rep. Ed Markey, House Speaker John Boehner announced that he had changed his mind about climate science and was now in favor of dramatic action to reduce greenhouse gas emissions.

“I was listening to NPR the other day, as you know I am a big fan, and I heard this terrifying show about the long term effects of our greenhouse gas emissions and I realized that I have been dead wrong about how to protect my nation, my constituents and my family.” The Speaker then broke down in tears.

More to come . . .