Only about a third of Americans talk to family and friends about climate change, but having that conversation can be a catalyst to change. Photo: Shutterstock
It’s a familiar holiday tradition: You’re gathered around the dining table with family and friends, catching up on life. The conversation centers on who’s getting married, which nephew is heading off to college, and the latest predictions about which football team might make the Super Bowl.
One thing unlikely to show up on the conversational menu: the climate crisis. When it comes to talking to family and friends about climate change, an issue increasingly affecting our daily lives, we’re likely to stay mum.
In fact, studies show that only about a third of Americans discuss climate change even occasionally. Researchers call it the “spiral of silence,” and the theory holds that people are less likely to talk about global warming if they think their opinion might be in the minority. If no one else is bringing it up, well, they won’t either. After all, it’s a downer, right?
When those third of Americans do broach the subject, researchers say it’s because they:
- Believe global warming to be a risk
- Are worried about climate change
- Perceive others to be making an effort to reduce global warming
- Perceive that their peers find it important to take action to reduce climate change
- Hear about the climate crisis in the media
But here’s the thing: when fewer people are talking about climate change and acknowledging it, fewer people are taking action against it. Essentially, those who stay mum have entered a doom-spiral feedback loop. Silence feeds on silence as the problem worsens. That’s how we end up with bad policies and worse outcomes.
Why Climate Change Is Worth Talking About
Yes, it’s undoubtedly easier to bond with your aunt over your mutual love of KPop Demon Hunters, Dua Lipa’s latest single, or your shared outrage over how they ruined the menu at your favorite restaurant. And of course, such celebrations and commiserations are essential for kinship. But there’s no reason to avoid reflecting on a topic that touches our lives daily and is fundamentally changing our collective future.
Being able to talk about climate change with friends and family is not only a good way to get emotional support during stressful times (like seeing your home insurance bill skyrocket because of floods or wildfires), but it’s a vital component to actually fixing the problem. And when it comes to tangible action, studies also show that discussing the impacts of our overheating planet with others not only increases knowledge about climate change but can also increase support for climate solutions.
Just as people are less likely to talk about things they don’t hear others talking about, the opposite is also true. People are more likely to voice an opinion when they perceive that it’s gaining popularity. That’s a different kind of spiral.
So how do you bring up climate change at the holiday buffet when everyone else wants only to dig into Nanna’s famous apple crumble? We’ve got a few tips:
Choose the Right Time
Everyone is relaxed and open, so you might think it’s a bad time to share what’s on your mind about climate change. Actually, it can be a great time. When people are feeling non-defensive, and you’re sharing observations that naturally flow with the conversation, people may be more receptive to hearing what you have to say. The key is to find a good way to talk about climate change with friends and family.
Start with your own actions as a conversation starter. Maybe you just read an interesting article, are thinking about upgrading to an induction stove, or perhaps you are just now realizing that climate change is worse than you thought. If you’ve made a change, talk about why, and hopefully, how your change has paid off. Letting others know that you’re thinking about climate change can often be enough to get others thinking too. Just don’t get preachy like Uncle Joe when he’s on his third glass of eggnog.
It’s a Conversation, Not a Debate
When you bring up climate change, lead with your feelings. If the topic is on your mind because you just read an article, talk about the way it made you feel. It’s okay to talk about your worry for your kids and your frustration with lawmakers. And when you voice your fears and frustrations, it doesn’t hurt to have a few facts. Here are three basic ones:
- More than 99% of scientists agree that climate change is here, human-caused, and we can do something about it before it’s too late.
- The planet is heating up 50 times faster than it has at any other time in history.
- Heat trapped by pollution is making extreme weather, including heat waves, wildfires, and intense storms, worse. (That explains your latest home insurance bill.)
Keep in mind that you’re not trying to “win” a debate. You’re having a conversation in which you are sharing your feelings and are open to hearing others’ feelings. Give people a chance to explore the issues in their own way, without feeling judged. Instead of trying to be an “advocate,” try being a moderator. You may never convince a climate denier that climate change is real, but nearly all of us can tell stories about wacky weather, which leads to our next point.
Ask Questions
As you work to get people to open up, ask open questions that can allow your Aunt Mary to reflect on her own experiences and to feel heard. You don’t need to have all the answers. Ask how your friends and family feel things could change, and what they think should happen next. Those kinds of questions keep the conversation flowing and prevent it from feeling one-sided. In the right context, it can actually begin to feel natural to talk with your family and friends about climate change.
Listen
This is often the hardest part about talking to friends and family about climate change, especially when you’re armed with facts, and your brother goes on and on when he doesn’t have any. This is where all that meditation practice can come in handy. Take a deep breath and give people the space to speak without interrupting. Rather than immediately responding, try paraphrasing what they’ve just said and repeating their idea back to them. This helps them feel heard and shows that you understand where they’re coming from. (Even if you secretly disagree!) That makes them more receptive to any point you may want to make.
Find Points of Mutual Agreement
If you can, it’s best to end the conversation on a hopeful note by finding common ground. Don’t try to convince anyone to flip their already strongly held opinions. See the conversation as opening a closed door. Over time, your friends and family may find they’re ready to walk through it.
For more resources, check out:
Yale Climate Connections’ How to speak with your family and friends about environmental issues.
How to have a climate conversation by Talk Climate Change.
And invite friends and family to sign up with CLF to learn more about climate solutions.
